Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
