She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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