I think i peed on brittanys purse
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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