Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
