Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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