Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
