I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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