I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
