I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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