Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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