Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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