careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
