Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
