i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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