You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
