yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
