thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
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