Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
