so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
