There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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