That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
