Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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