Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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