Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
