I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Someone signed my nipple.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
