My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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