used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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