Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
