if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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