the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
