your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
