Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
