she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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