im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
