Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
sex in a hospital.. check
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize