I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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