ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
