man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
