if i can run in heels then i can drive
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
