not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize