I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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