my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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