we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
