sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
