I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
