Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
