yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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