I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
soo... how was my night?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
