im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
