mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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