i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
